Photo by Rebecca Prest on Unsplash
There is a big movement happening right now to make people understand the importance of vulnerability.
Vulnerability to me just means being able to be completely honest and open about ones needs, emotions, wants and beliefs.
Everybody struggles with this one, more than they care to admit.
I think we all at a certain level know that being vulnerable means we are giving a reason for people to judge us and put us down.
Unfortunately, it has been a way of existing. I have been on both ends of this. I thought I was never a one to judge but it didn’t take much to start conforming to the how things were happening around me. And if I really took a closer look at my inner thoughts, there were certain prejudices and hang ups that had built up over time due to involuntary hypnosis.
So yes. Knowing this, it is hard to be vulnerable.
I have always felt that being vulnerable about my emotions, needs and wants put me in a weak place. So being closed off and independent was an easier way to be.
The times I was vulnerable about being hurt, I was told, they only did that because you cry all the time.
The times I expressed my opinions, needs and wants, there was a louder voice that followed which drowned my voice.
The times I went to others for help, I was put into a permanent victim state. And I was told you don’t know how to live, you need to do what I do and essentially become a support to someone else’s life style.
All these things did one thing. It made me feel a sense of guilt inside of me for being me.
So here began the pattern of keeping my true self locked up inside, so even I was not able to see it.
So I came to the realization that first step to vulnerability, is about becoming vulnerable with our own selves. Being honest with our own selves about what we are feeling, what we need and want.
Its never about what we express to the outer world, but its always about what we are expressing to our own selves.
After all the programming we’ve experienced, we often don’t know what we are feeling, what we need and what we believe.
It tasks time away from everyone and just being on your own to understand what it is that we have been bottling up inside, what we actually need and who we are as people at this moment. It is a step by step process.
First step is paying attention to the current emotional state. Whats happening inside right now. How much is old emotions that need to be released and how much is emotions that is happening right now.
Second step is starting to honor one’s own needs. Are you doing the activities you want to do, are you eating the food you want to eat and are you with the people you want to be with. These are things to evaluate and see whether we need to make changes in these areas.
Third step is learning the techniques needed to express our selves to others. We all live in a community of some sorts and to express our most authentic selves to others, we need to know the correct way to do it. This is hard for many people as not many people learn to express emotions as they are happening or express their needs. This does not mean immediately reacting to emotions, but rather learning to acknowledge them and knowing which ones need to be expressed and how.
So I think that vulnerability is a skill we need to start developing step by step. We are born vulnerable, but not many of us live life that way.
But we can learn to be vulnerable by looking at our own selves more closely.
Thanks for reading ~~