Using feedback from others outside of us to improve our selves is important, but it can be difficult. Often times, we received feedback in a very negative and critical way early in life which made us resist feedback all together.
Feedback we got often questioned our worth rather than told us that our action was incorrect or unhelpful. This made us start to resist and even freeze when feedback was given to us.
We did not enjoy our feelings being hurt, so it was easier to just dodge it.
But processing feedback and reflecting on them can help progress in life much quicker.
But before we can do that, we need to learn to open up to feedback in a safe way.
- How to open up to feedback
We have to do it slowly one step at a time. First we need to learn to sit and feel any emotion when feedback is given to us. We often resist or freeze to avoid feeling emotions. So we need to change this behavior.
This will take some time and practice. So every time we are with family, friends, teachers, collegues, we can just sit and listen.
You do not need to accept the feedback but rather just listen as though you are listening to some new information. We don’t need to make it part of us just yet.
2. Look for patterns
As you listen, you will see that same things are being said by a number of people. This is the time that we may want to take notes.
If people in different aspects of you life are noticing the same things about you, you should take note.
Then you can find a way to improve what ever is holding you back.
This is when you can look online or read a book to help you gain more knowledge of what you are trying to improve.
3. Check if the feedback was well intended
Not all feedback we get is actually accurate or helpful. So me need to always think about the persons intention.
If it is someone older and have achieved the goals you want to achieve, these might be good feedback to take on board.
Feedback from your peers could go either way. So that’s why we need multiple sources to confirm what is an actual issue we need to work on.
4. Use feedback for small changes
When we get given feedback, we should use it to make small changes.
Changes to our habits, skill set and how we do things is a good start.
For big life decisions, we need to take feedback, but need to consider what is true for us. Because no one can tell us what is right for us as there is only one of us.
But others can provide information on what you can expect in the road ahead if you take a certain decision.
So we can listen and prepare for these potential issues.
Feedback can be very valuable if we use it the right we. But it take some effort from us to discern good feedback and apply it to our lives.
Hope this read is relatable and got some one thinking about using feedback rather than dodging all feedback coming your way.
~Thanks for reading~