Love relationships are exciting, anxiety provoking, transformative, fun, stressful, exhilarating and grounding all at the same time.
We feel each of these emotions at different stages of the relationship.
Initially it is excitement and exhilaration. Then its sweet sweet love. But then we hit the power struggle phase, where we can no longer see the good we once saw in our partner. Instead we see someone who has nothing in common with us.
We then learn again to love the person for the good and the bad. At this point things seem to be going great. But not for long.
We then hit the love language barrier. we give and give, but don’t get any love back. We become resentful and frustrated. The frustration slowly but surely start to build up inside of us.
Our partner also seem to think that they are giving equally, but we don’t see it that way. Heck we do so much for them and they never do anything for us.
Then your partner might say, I didn’t know you wanted me to do that.
You see we only recognize love, when its given to us in the way that we like to give it. If I like to give gifts, I won’t recognize my partners words of affirmation as love. I need to see him given me a gift.
This was not a problem at the beginning of the relationship, because it was our differences we liked. We complemented each others style of giving love.
But over time this difference becomes a hinderance. I always make time for you but all you do is just buy me something, but never spend time with me. Or I always encourage you but all you do is whine about how you did my laundry and how I am such a child.
So those initial differences are no longer cute, but a cause of frustration and an indication that maybe you are too different to one another.
So how can we resolve this dilemma.
You see, the trick is to recognize how our partner is giving us love. Because that is what they consider what love looks like. Then give them love in the same way once in a while. They won’t be able to put it into words or put their finger on it, but they would feel understood.
For us to feel love, we can recognize how we give love, and let our partner know that we like it when they give love in that way.
Its about speaking a language that your partner understands when giving love and vise versa.
This is often a point in many long term relationships where the partners feel a lot of frustration.
But as you can see, there is an easy fix.
All we need to do is speak the other person’s language at least once in a while when it comes to love.
~Thanks for reading~